[ he just sighs. there’s a deep, helpless sort of tired in his bones that he can’t shake off and walk his way through. he knows it, he’s felt it before, but right now he just hates it. ]
[it's slightly muffled, but his voice is loud enough to be heard]
...Thanks. I know it doesn't change anything, but... Feels nice, knowing someone feels the same.
[Not that other people haven't expressed the same sentiment, of course they have. But there have been an equal number of people telling Lavi to face reality, which -- of course he had, he will. He's spent so long repressing his own emotions, erasing his own bias. He can move on easily from the things that happen to him. It's never as important as the things that happen to other people.]
[ i’m bending any rules and having him rap lavi on the head with his knuckles. ]
Both of you..
Of course I’m mad about Mikiri. And of course I wish he hadn’t been killed. But you too. I don’t give a damn, you’re only 19, you shouldn’t be stuck in here dealing with the aftermath of everything like this either.
[ that’s what… bugs him about all this. “oh we have exorcists of all ages” “I have to learn to leave my emotions out of things” and what? watch humanity with an empty dispassion and a wall between you and them? fuck that. lavi’s a kid, some of those exorcists he mentioned are kids. it doesn’t matter if they’re stronger, braver, more talented than anyone else — they’re kids.
that’s what pisses him off. that’s what makes him so frustrated. that two kids had to deal with all of this and face the consequences in this way when neither of them did anything that would ordinarily get them anything more than a “be more careful next time”. don’t go out alone on a thursday night, don’t drink the questionable drinks. not all this ending in murder or execution. ]
Lavi may be an idiot of the highest degree, but he thinks he knows people. And he thinks he knows Date, even after these brief few weeks. He knows enough of the other man not to say his usual lines. Something like 'I can handle this.' or 'Better me than someone else.'
He presses a hand over the spot where Date rapped him instead, smiling ruefully.]
Justice for the crime, right? Motive aside. [...] But I get what you're saying. Never thought I'd end up here like this.
Think the only thing that's gonna make me feel better is knowing the same thing won't happen to you guys.
The last two people killed because they chose to. You wouldn’t do that — not to Mikiri. So… it makes you wonder if someone didn’t meddle with this on purpose.
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[quickly, and maybe a little more heatedly -- before Lavi visibly checks himself, breathing again.]
I've been fighting battles my whole life, my whole expertise is with people masquerading as humans. The fact that I didn't notice in time is on me.
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[ said just as sharply and quickly. ]
Both of you shouldn't have had to deal with that in the first place, I don't give a damn if you've been "fighting battles your whole life".
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then, very quietly.]
...I wish it hadn't been him.
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[ he just sighs. there’s a deep, helpless sort of tired in his bones that he can’t shake off and walk his way through. he knows it, he’s felt it before, but right now he just hates it. ]
I know. Me too.
I wish it hadn’t been either of you.
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...Thanks. I know it doesn't change anything, but... Feels nice, knowing someone feels the same.
[Not that other people haven't expressed the same sentiment, of course they have. But there have been an equal number of people telling Lavi to face reality, which -- of course he had, he will. He's spent so long repressing his own emotions, erasing his own bias. He can move on easily from the things that happen to him. It's never as important as the things that happen to other people.]
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Both of you..
Of course I’m mad about Mikiri. And of course I wish he hadn’t been killed. But you too. I don’t give a damn, you’re only 19, you shouldn’t be stuck in here dealing with the aftermath of everything like this either.
[ that’s what… bugs him about all this. “oh we have exorcists of all ages” “I have to learn to leave my emotions out of things” and what? watch humanity with an empty dispassion and a wall between you and them? fuck that. lavi’s a kid, some of those exorcists he mentioned are kids. it doesn’t matter if they’re stronger, braver, more talented than anyone else — they’re kids.
that’s what pisses him off. that’s what makes him so frustrated. that two kids had to deal with all of this and face the consequences in this way when neither of them did anything that would ordinarily get them anything more than a “be more careful next time”. don’t go out alone on a thursday night, don’t drink the questionable drinks. not all this ending in murder or execution. ]
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Lavi may be an idiot of the highest degree, but he thinks he knows people. And he thinks he knows Date, even after these brief few weeks. He knows enough of the other man not to say his usual lines. Something like 'I can handle this.' or 'Better me than someone else.'
He presses a hand over the spot where Date rapped him instead, smiling ruefully.]
Justice for the crime, right? Motive aside. [...] But I get what you're saying. Never thought I'd end up here like this.
Think the only thing that's gonna make me feel better is knowing the same thing won't happen to you guys.
no subject
[ … ]
The last two people killed because they chose to. You wouldn’t do that — not to Mikiri. So… it makes you wonder if someone didn’t meddle with this on purpose.