[Would he have more success or would it just be easier for him to beat Kanda up and drag him around
Kanda isn't smart, but it's not like he can't tell Lavi's displeased. And, well--people are constantly displeased with his attitude, that's the whole argument Lavi's making right now? It's not enough to make him go back on his principles, but it is enough to make his gaze slide back to Lavi, assessing.
He thinks of the words getting attached stamped across Lavi's neck, and wonders, not for the first time, what things would be like if it was all different.]
I won't hesitate if someone changes. [Ritual be damned. If he sees an active threat, he isn't going to sit back and wait for them to kill again. Especially not if he's right there, perfectly within range to stop it. ...But that's his only addendum, which is the closest thing to acquiescence he can provide.
It would be easier, maybe, if it was only Lavi asking things of him--someone he already trusts, someone who pushes his luck far too much, but who knows him as well as Kanda permits for almost anyone. Lavi isn't Marie, who stood by him as Kanda clawed his way back to solid ground after Alma; he isn't Lenalee, who remembers so little of the life she was dragged away from; he isn't even Allen, who Kanda has always understood better than he'd ever cared to admit.
And that's good, really. It means Lavi is close enough to trust the way he does his unit, but distant enough to escape Kanda's grudge against the Order. He wasn't there in those early, unstable years, but he's stuck around long enough--lived long enough--that it would be strange to lose him. And it means that Kanda learned to recognize the significance of Lavi letting his guard drop, long enough ago that he knows for sure he prefers it. He can't reciprocate, not when he's unapologetically himself at all times, but whatever it is that prompts Lavi to choose him for these moments isn't so great a cost. It's a space in Kanda's life that no one else occupies, even amongst those Kanda shares his time with.
But in the end, it's not just Lavi. So this is the most he's willing to bend, at least for now.]
[at this point, Lavi hasn't talked about the ritual with their Horsemen buddies -- and they both haven't seen how it all will pan out later, how it'll leave a bitter taste in Lavi's mouth and prompt him to pull up his usual persona (with a few tweaks, sympathetic and kind this time, with only the slightest emphasis on grieving. 'it's for the best, let's move on').
for now, he only has the past nine hours and tonight. of boothill who clearly isn't him the same way an Akuma wearing the skin of their beloved isn't. so he can't fault for Kanda's demand now. This is what they (we) do. Destroy (protect).
The problem is how everyone else will react. Because they will, maybe fast enough so that Kanda won't have to intervene, so that whoever's blood is next ends up on someone else's hands, so that neither Kanda or Lavi can reap those consequences. He's cold enough to prefer this,]
We were all caught off-guard. [it'll be different next time (WILL IT?)] Hopefully, no one will hesitate next time.
[or maybe they should stagger those nine hours and wait precisely 5 minutes before they corner the next person, so that the veil comes up and it becomes someone else's problem (or theirs in a way that everyone will have no choice but to accept).]
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Kanda isn't smart, but it's not like he can't tell Lavi's displeased. And, well--people are constantly displeased with his attitude, that's the whole argument Lavi's making right now? It's not enough to make him go back on his principles, but it is enough to make his gaze slide back to Lavi, assessing.
He thinks of the words getting attached stamped across Lavi's neck, and wonders, not for the first time, what things would be like if it was all different.]
I won't hesitate if someone changes. [Ritual be damned. If he sees an active threat, he isn't going to sit back and wait for them to kill again. Especially not if he's right there, perfectly within range to stop it. ...But that's his only addendum, which is the closest thing to acquiescence he can provide.
It would be easier, maybe, if it was only Lavi asking things of him--someone he already trusts, someone who pushes his luck far too much, but who knows him as well as Kanda permits for almost anyone. Lavi isn't Marie, who stood by him as Kanda clawed his way back to solid ground after Alma; he isn't Lenalee, who remembers so little of the life she was dragged away from; he isn't even Allen, who Kanda has always understood better than he'd ever cared to admit.
And that's good, really. It means Lavi is close enough to trust the way he does his unit, but distant enough to escape Kanda's grudge against the Order. He wasn't there in those early, unstable years, but he's stuck around long enough--lived long enough--that it would be strange to lose him. And it means that Kanda learned to recognize the significance of Lavi letting his guard drop, long enough ago that he knows for sure he prefers it. He can't reciprocate, not when he's unapologetically himself at all times, but whatever it is that prompts Lavi to choose him for these moments isn't so great a cost. It's a space in Kanda's life that no one else occupies, even amongst those Kanda shares his time with.
But in the end, it's not just Lavi. So this is the most he's willing to bend, at least for now.]
no subject
for now, he only has the past nine hours and tonight. of boothill who clearly isn't him the same way an Akuma wearing the skin of their beloved isn't. so he can't fault for Kanda's demand now. This is what they (we) do. Destroy (protect).
The problem is how everyone else will react. Because they will, maybe fast enough so that Kanda won't have to intervene, so that whoever's blood is next ends up on someone else's hands, so that neither Kanda or Lavi can reap those consequences. He's cold enough to prefer this,]
We were all caught off-guard. [it'll be different next time (WILL IT?)] Hopefully, no one will hesitate next time.
[or maybe they should stagger those nine hours and wait precisely 5 minutes before they corner the next person, so that the veil comes up and it becomes someone else's problem (or theirs in a way that everyone will have no choice but to accept).]