[That jerk is enough for him to tense slightly--bracing to catch Lavi's fist or otherwise block him if he needs to, but Lavi's tension stays inward. (And it's almost worse that way, because he can't do anything about it when it's like this--but no, that's not his problem, is it? Because they aren't friends, they aren't anything, he doesn't care--)
He stays where he is, watching Lavi's face, the way his expression shifts in sleep, and then in waking.]
Fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty.
[They don't have a clock, but he's used to measuring time without one anyway, so it isn't hard to give an estimate--and given what they talked about in the beginning, he has a feeling Lavi will only care that it wasn't very long, rather than about anything precise.]
[it's not precise, but it's enough. it's more than what Lavi would have gotten if he never met Yuu -- he knows this, the instinctive feeling that if he never woke up in this town and met him again, then he'd never have known just how long it's been. the relief is obvious on his face, and he slumps, resting his weight against Kanda. even though he knows he should get a hold of himself now that he's awake.]
...
[he's not worried about what Kanda might have seen -- he's had nightmares in front of him before, worse ones. but the concern that prickles through him isn't for his secrets or privacy for once, but for]
Did I wake you up?
[did his stupid NIGHTMARE wake Kanda from the only piece of restful sleep he's had since coming here]
[Lavi leans against him, and maybe it's affection week that keeps Kanda still as he does--or maybe it's just years of going through this, an intrinsic understanding of that weariness, of the comfort exorcists can only find with each other. The kind of understanding that only people who have dragged each other, half-dead, back from the brink of annihilation could even begin to share.
(Or, maybe it's honesty for honesty--a dropped mask and steady presence, even though warmth is long lost to him. Kanda doesn't feel obligated to match anyone's trust or kindness, but... that doesn't mean it never happens.)
Whatever the reason, he stays put, solid and grounding as Lavi regains his bearings.]
No. I was awake. [And Kanda doesn't lie to make people feel better, so Lavi can rest assured that that's truth.]
[...he can't deny the relief at hearing kanda's answer. something else he shouldn't feel, probably, because it's rooted in something so dangerous -- care, affection, attachment.]
So you barely slept at all.
[one of these days they're gonna pass over from real exhaustion, and that is not that day (yet)]
[They should do it in trial so we can get scapegoated
Kanda sleeps so much less than Lavi does but he can't deny it sounds a little tempting, given that he can't just drink up his lifespan like a red bull here,,, BUT--]
[THEY WILL NOT NO ONE EVEN TRIED TO SCAPEGOAT KANDA WHEN HE WAS LIKE 'DON'T GET IN THE WAY OF MY STABBING']
The pumpkins aren't going anywhere.
[and neither are the potatoes!!!! he straightens so he's not leaning on Kanda anymore, but then he pats his own shoulder and looks at him expectantly....]
But fine... FINE!!! Shoulder is too much (at least while awake) but affection week can win out and convince him to sigh before he turns back around to lean against Lavi.]
[now his fingers feel itchy at the memory… like they wanna Braid, but no he will be a very nice backrest for Kanda.
And if Kanda wakes up later with his head on Lavi’s shoulder instead of against his back then he should understand that Lavi had no idea, he simply adjusted himself for Kanda’s comfort? Like a good gay friend.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He stays where he is, watching Lavi's face, the way his expression shifts in sleep, and then in waking.]
Fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty.
[They don't have a clock, but he's used to measuring time without one anyway, so it isn't hard to give an estimate--and given what they talked about in the beginning, he has a feeling Lavi will only care that it wasn't very long, rather than about anything precise.]
no subject
...
[he's not worried about what Kanda might have seen -- he's had nightmares in front of him before, worse ones. but the concern that prickles through him isn't for his secrets or privacy for once, but for]
Did I wake you up?
[did his stupid NIGHTMARE wake Kanda from the only piece of restful sleep he's had since coming here]
no subject
(Or, maybe it's honesty for honesty--a dropped mask and steady presence, even though warmth is long lost to him. Kanda doesn't feel obligated to match anyone's trust or kindness, but... that doesn't mean it never happens.)
Whatever the reason, he stays put, solid and grounding as Lavi regains his bearings.]
No. I was awake. [And Kanda doesn't lie to make people feel better, so Lavi can rest assured that that's truth.]
no subject
So you barely slept at all.
[one of these days they're gonna pass over from real exhaustion, and that is not that day (yet)]
...You can rest. I'll keep watch this time.
no subject
Kanda sleeps so much less than Lavi does but he can't deny it sounds a little tempting, given that he can't just drink up his lifespan like a red bull here,,, BUT--]
Didn't you want food... [THAT'S WHY THEY'RE HERE]
no subject
The pumpkins aren't going anywhere.
[and neither are the potatoes!!!! he straightens so he's not leaning on Kanda anymore, but then he pats his own shoulder and looks at him expectantly....]
no subject
Also gives him a withering look... WILL AFFECTION WEEK OR KANDA'S BITCHINESS PREVAIL HERE... I ROLLED A 9]
no subject
Lavi Thinks, and then he turns and points to his own back instead, while turning his head like :D? :D??? is this better????]
no subject
But fine... FINE!!! Shoulder is too much (at least while awake) but affection week can win out and convince him to sigh before he turns back around to lean against Lavi.]
If you braid my hair I'll cut you.
[HE REMEMBERS THE TRAIN YOU PUNK]
no subject
[now his fingers feel itchy at the memory… like they wanna Braid, but no he will be a very nice backrest for Kanda.
And if Kanda wakes up later with his head on Lavi’s shoulder instead of against his back then he should understand that Lavi had no idea, he simply adjusted himself for Kanda’s comfort? Like a good
gayfriend.]