bookpapers | yuu!! yuu!!! yuu!!!!!!

[You expect me to keep track of all the secrets I was supposed to be keeping... me headcanonning that Kanda just doesn't care because he hates the Order as my excuse for him blabbing to everyone]

I don't know their names. [HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYONE'S NAMES] But they need to get out of the way once they show up. It's only a matter of time, with their symbol all over this place.

[So to him it was faster to just say HEY, MONSTERS, SO SKEDADDLE]

[HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYONE'S NAMES]

The pentagrams? [he looks thoughtful at that... and anyway] I don't disagree. I just wanna know so we don't waste time explaining to the same people.

[but im not nice so i will infodump on anyone who asks lavi]

I talked to Robin about 'em -- she's the real cute girl with the halo and angel wings.

[KANDA LIKE I DON'T CARE]

[He's rapidly remembering how annoying Lavi is actually

BUT FINE... he takes a minute to think about it, and by think about it I mean to pick out the only people he's mentally clocked as tolerable]

The short redhead by the fire. [Ashlyn] And the spike-head with the fake Crown Clown. [Cloud..... he told more people than that but he doesn't care about them

Also]

There's a weirdo made of metal who said he used to be human. But he's not with any branch of the Order. [Sus!! He didn't seem like an Akuma but he's WEIRD]

[:3c?]

So Ashlyn and Cloud. [oh he likes them too!!! kanda didn't say he likes them, well just mentioning them counts as like in Kanda's book,

he does tilt his head at the 'weirdo made of metal who said he used to be human' though,]

The Hill of the Boot guy? [im sorry to boothill if lavi finds out what his actual name is later] He said he's a Galaxy Ranger. He travels to different planets to fight crime, like space police!

[it sounds so fake but lavi is obviously intrigued]

[Their names are going in one ear and out the other but maybe he will learn them eventually

Also what the fuck]

Who would believe a stupid story like that...

[KANDA IS SO FUNNY]

Probably the same people who'll believe us about the Order and Akuma.

[THEIR STORY SOUNDS PRETTY STUPID TOO]

[LISTEN for now he thinks they'll only be here for a couple of days before they find the Innocence that trapped them here and go home like usual... it'll be different once he learns they're properly stuck and then different again when people start dropping like flies]

Whatever. [They don't need to believe it they just need to not be in his way when he starts swinging] If they made him crazy, it's not our problem.

[JUST ASSIGNS BOOTHILL A NUTCASE]

[MADE HIM CRAZY]

Right, speaking of problems... [he drapes the coat over his left arm and pulls out his miniscule hammer with his left,] My hammer's not working.

[hello bob the builder]

Won't change shape no matter how hard I try.

[AH YES... THE BAD NEWS

Predictably, Kanda's expression darkens like a stormcloud.]

Mugen won't activate either.

[But they're not broken??? So what the fck]

[what the fck is real]

...There's no way dark matter can do that to Innocence. [can it destroy it?? yeah... but to render it inert...?

the other option is that they're no longer accommodators but]

We should ask around, see if anyone else's items are the same.

...We're the only exorcists. [How would that help them Lavi

He just doesn't want to socialize]

[lavi looks at kanda like he knows he doesn't want to socialize]

Maybe other people have abilities like us that they can't use! And it'd be helpful to know what they can do, just in case.