But--well. Again, Kanda is the last person in the world who'll sugarcoat anything, so he says it flat out.]
You've been gone for months. At least four, by now.
[Counting the time it took to track down Johnny, and then Allen after that--it might even be closer to five, if he really sat down to do the math.
And Kanda's... not good at showing concern, but he does pay attention, and he knows that expression.]
You really don't remember anything? [Because Kanda's an idiot, but even he can see the logical conclusion of "I was fighting a Noah and blacked out" + "months have gone by that Lavi apparently wasn't aware of"]
[Four months... (the world really blew up in four months huh)
The look on Lavi's face is uncharacteristically rattled, unhappy in a way he rarely deigns to show, but he doesn't have Bookman around to tell him to get over it -- in fact, his thoughts stray to the old man first.
and they should really stay there, but he starts thinking of more people too. chaoji and marie. lenalee. allen. krory. miranda. komui. everyone at the order. how they must have looked when he didn't make it back. and his mood darkens even more, caught between wanting them to be alright and trying not to think of them in the first place. why couldn't all his problems be FIXED while he was gone for FOUR MONTHS.... damn]
...No.
[he shifts his hand lower on Kanda's arm, distracting himself by looking at his still injured PAPERCUTS, just so he could steel himself for his next question]
[Bookman definitely isn't here to tell him to get over it, and Kanda won't--not when he's always found Lavi at his most tolerable without the veneer.]
We assumed you were together.
[Which is part of the reason most of the Order figured they were still alive, even the chronic worriers like Lenalee. And besides, Bookmen are mysterious; they've never been obligated to tell anyone where they're going or what they're doing, so the idea of them vanishing as quickly as they'd arrived was never off the table. Kanda can't say he didn't find their disappearance odd, especially knowing the sort of person Lavi is (insomuch as either of them really know each other, of course, beyond those rare, quiet moments), but. Well. He'd had his own things to deal with. Sometimes you have to decompress from killing the love of your lives for the second time and then you have to chase after a different dumbass because you repay your debts.
But, also:]
Why would they bring you here and not him...?
[LIKE. WHO WOULD WANT LAVI AND KANDA AND NOT THE INFINITELY MORE RELEVANT/USEFUL PEOPLE THEY WERE JUST WITH?? Maybe they're just in a different part of the fog...]
[He shifts at that, because he can see why they'd think that, because it's true? three years and counting, but it could all end in a blink too. if the innocence grows too strong, if his heart wavers too much....
and anyway he'd think the same being together -- he's never been without Gramps, in all of his years of living (hoshino: lavi is 600). Sure, he's been sent on different missions, and then there was the whole ark thing, but he'd always known where Bookman was then, trusting that he'd eventually see him again.
His silence grows longer, almost unbearable to someone as chatty as Lavi, so he grabs onto the question when Kanda asks it,]
Maybe he got away.
[he wants to take it back as soon as he says it. it sounds a little too much like blind optimism, and he knows how much kanda likes that,]
Or maybe they needed him for something else. He's the Bookman, and m'just the apprentice. He's valuable.
[Eventually, he tugs his arm away. He doesn't think he needs to point out which option he thinks is more likely--especially because he has eyes and doesn't think Bookman would just ditch Lavi to save his own skin.]
They'll show up eventually. [The Noah always do... tch] They'll probably tell us then.
[THEY STARTED IT BY BEING IN A CULT IN THE FIRST PLACE
But, he considers this. It's Friday so he hasn't met Kate yet, which means his first thoughts are Karlach and Boothill as the most visually Unusual, but plenty of exorcists look normal bc they're equipment types, so that's not a sure bet... damn]
Just tell them I went and found you. ["Tell them yourself Kanda" no he's even less inclined to do that now than he was before... he's gonna be a fucking nightmare of a general]
but also damn, this is the second time Kanda's mentioned Lenalee with devastating effect.]
Wasn't plannin' on avoiding her...
[but his annoyance is mostly feigned... he's just feeling Sad and trying not to because that's not Bookman behavior, except he probably looks droopy anyway]
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But--well. Again, Kanda is the last person in the world who'll sugarcoat anything, so he says it flat out.]
You've been gone for months. At least four, by now.
[Counting the time it took to track down Johnny, and then Allen after that--it might even be closer to five, if he really sat down to do the math.
And Kanda's... not good at showing concern, but he does pay attention, and he knows that expression.]
You really don't remember anything? [Because Kanda's an idiot, but even he can see the logical conclusion of "I was fighting a Noah and blacked out" + "months have gone by that Lavi apparently wasn't aware of"]
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The look on Lavi's face is uncharacteristically rattled, unhappy in a way he rarely deigns to show, but he doesn't have Bookman around to tell him to get over it -- in fact, his thoughts stray to the old man first.
and they should really stay there, but he starts thinking of more people too. chaoji and marie. lenalee. allen. krory. miranda. komui. everyone at the order. how they must have looked when he didn't make it back. and his mood darkens even more, caught between wanting them to be alright and trying not to think of them in the first place. why couldn't all his problems be FIXED while he was gone for FOUR MONTHS.... damn]
...No.
[he shifts his hand lower on Kanda's arm, distracting himself by looking at his still injured PAPERCUTS, just so he could steel himself for his next question]
The old man too?
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We assumed you were together.
[Which is part of the reason most of the Order figured they were still alive, even the chronic worriers like Lenalee. And besides, Bookmen are mysterious; they've never been obligated to tell anyone where they're going or what they're doing, so the idea of them vanishing as quickly as they'd arrived was never off the table. Kanda can't say he didn't find their disappearance odd, especially knowing the sort of person Lavi is (insomuch as either of them really know each other, of course, beyond those rare, quiet moments), but. Well. He'd had his own things to deal with. Sometimes you have to decompress from killing the love of your lives for the second time and then you have to chase after a different dumbass because you repay your debts.
But, also:]
Why would they bring you here and not him...?
[LIKE. WHO WOULD WANT LAVI AND KANDA AND NOT THE INFINITELY MORE RELEVANT/USEFUL PEOPLE THEY WERE JUST WITH?? Maybe they're just in a different part of the fog...]
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and anyway he'd think the same being together -- he's never been without Gramps, in all of his years of living (hoshino: lavi is 600). Sure, he's been sent on different missions, and then there was the whole ark thing, but he'd always known where Bookman was then, trusting that he'd eventually see him again.
His silence grows longer, almost unbearable to someone as chatty as Lavi, so he grabs onto the question when Kanda asks it,]
Maybe he got away.
[he wants to take it back as soon as he says it. it sounds a little too much like blind optimism, and he knows how much kanda likes that,]
Or maybe they needed him for something else. He's the Bookman, and m'just the apprentice. He's valuable.
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They'll show up eventually. [The Noah always do... tch] They'll probably tell us then.
[Villainous taunt speeches etc. etc.]
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lavi makes a face at that... they really always do]
...So we just gotta sit and wait.... [damn....] We should do some more explorin' until then.
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I didn't find anything that looked like Innocence.
[Granted, it's kind of hard to tell sometimes... thinks about all the weird forms Innocence takes]
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What about people? Someone here could be an accommodator and not realize it, like Miranda. The Innocence could be respondin' to them only.
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But, he considers this. It's Friday so he hasn't met Kate yet, which means his first thoughts are Karlach and Boothill as the most visually Unusual, but plenty of exorcists look normal bc they're equipment types, so that's not a sure bet... damn]
We'll just have to watch them.
[No Finders around to do the legwork for them]
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Maybe more people should start fighting... The Innocence would definitely react in order to save 'em...
[please don't give kanda any ideas]
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Fortunately even Kanda isn't violent enough to just start attacking dozens of randos*
*that seem like normies and have not exploded into Akuma yet]
They will if we're trapped here for too long. [This is just projection]
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Guess we'll deal with it when it happens.
[unfortunately lavi has very little faith in humanity to think that they won't]
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Anyway, assuming they get out of here alive, because for some unfathomable reason they keep scraping by:]
If you want lodging on the way back you'll have to pay for it.
[HE SOLD HIS DECORATIONS ALREADY]
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We should be fine if we just show 'em the cross.
[their rose cross that can apparently pay train fare, except only in their world... what are they gonna have to do while world hopping,]
And the Bookman clan's got supporters all over the world too. They'll help us out.
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Fine. [Which sounds bitchy but it's not, really, since lodging is truly so whatever to him. He'll sleep in the woods he doesn't care]
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M'worried about Allen and Johnny though...
[how are those fcks gonna pay for anything (by gambling) how]
What are you gonna do when the Order asks you where they are?
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They don't know where I went. Marie and Lena covered for me.
[THEY DO SO MUCH FOR HIM AND FOR WHAT]
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I’ll have to link up with them and get my story straight too.
[except the idea of going back to the order without book man is…. Hm]
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Just tell them I went and found you. ["Tell them yourself Kanda" no he's even less inclined to do that now than he was before... he's gonna be a fucking nightmare of a general]
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I’ll tell them that we found each other.
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[No she will cry on him, which is worse, and THEN kill him]
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but also damn, this is the second time Kanda's mentioned Lenalee with devastating effect.]
Wasn't plannin' on avoiding her...
[but his annoyance is mostly feigned... he's just feeling Sad and trying not to because that's not Bookman behavior, except he probably looks droopy anyway]
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Anyway he's chilled out but he's still the least comforting person on the planet so:]
Go mope somewhere else. [Thanks Kanda]
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