Bookman Junior | "lavi" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bookpapers) wrote2024-06-08 07:15 pm
bookpapers) wrote2024-06-08 07:15 pmKARLACHHHHH
one day ill have images prepared
bookpapers) wrote2024-06-08 07:15 pm
w2 mon
"I am not your comrade."]
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-- What? [so much to unpack there...] Were those your friends? What was going on?
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Lavi looks guilty> A little uncomfortable, and also -- a bit embarrassed. Out of all the memories he has, it really had to pick this one.]
My heart. The one I kept thinking I shouldn't have... It got pierced during a fight, so my other self -- that version... It took control.
[he says it haltingly, not in an attempt to drag it out really, but to try and think of way to explain]
There's a lot about that I don't remember. Just that I was almost gone.
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... But you didn't. Go. [she says, finally.] Fuck, Lavi.
It's a good thing you've got it. That heart of yours. I'm never going to tell you it isn't - this almost proves it.
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at that, he smiles a little wry, because it really does?]
...Maybe I could still have been a better person without it. Someone who wouldn't have fucked up my friends.
[instead he became slightly insane]
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Even people who don't have heart problems fuck up their friends sometimes. The thing about friends is they forgive you. And the thing about being a better person is that it isn't a one and done. You've got to try, forever.
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Forever's a long time... [STOP WHINING]
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It's a lot shorter than you'd think. Take advantage of it. You've only ever got so much time.
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Spoken like a wise teacher.
[hehe also GIVE ME A KARLACH MEMORY]
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you've only got so much time.]
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Lavi watches -- not from the sidelines like he's used to, but from Karlach -- her emotions weigh on his chest, hot and heavy and so very familiar, her rage and grief and the emptiness at having achieved something that has not given any measure of absolution in return, and he feels like screaming at the moment she does.
This is her, and the next part is familiar too -- bundling all the pain away for the sake of moving on, for the purpose of protecting something else, even though nothing is resolved for you still. he breathes in deep as the memory recedes. how simple it seemed when Karlach had told him Gortash's fate. He'd been glad to hear that he died. But now it makes sense, why his name was spelled out as a regret.]
...Kar.
[a beat of silence, it's not affection week but he'll reach out all the same, taking her wrist and avoiding her injured hand, but holding all the same,]
I'm sorry.
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he can take her wrist - she presses into the touch, swallowing hard.]
It's alright. [it isn't, but that's what you say.] ... Gods, I don't even know what to say after that one.
[she's just tired.]
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You don't have to say anything.
[he knows enough about putting up a front and all the exhaustion that comes with it.]
...You know, how come these things never show funny or happy memories? We have plenty of those too.
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Gods, no kidding. I think I've seen one good memory so far. And it was my own.
... This place is built to beat the shit out of us. Physically, emotionally. Guess it makes sense.
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I could tell you one if ya want. Not the same as getting to see it live, but maybe we can swap something nice, our choice this time.
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[imagine i said lavi has no happy memories like everyoen ELSE here]
I'll tell ya about a festival I went to back when I was around ten? Eleven? It was for the local water goddess, and for lovers and family. Me and Gramps were there just to watch. But just watching was boring... And there was a really cute girl I liked at the time. Annamarie! Best dimples, prettiest hair. 'Cept she was eight years older than me... But I figured age was just a number, y'know?
[lavi u were eleven]
Anyway, there's this tradition of giving a duck to the person you like the most, so I went to look for one... But big festival, lots of lovers, so ducks were kinda scarce. So I got a chicken! [why] I put a ribbon on her and brought her over to Anna. But she turned out to be allergic to chickens? And also the chicken escaped and opened up all the duck cages. So the whole festival got overrun, but someone said it was a sign from the goddess, so now they always release all their ducks and one chicken every year!
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she listens to this, her tail wagging slightly, and the story - it makes her laugh, a stupid dorky noise.]
You started a whole tradition! Damn! Look at you go.
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I kinda feel bad for all the chickens, but.. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you can for a super cute girl!
[is that the lesson...]