[sweet Childe!! Lavi's shed his tie and jacket from the party, though he's just walking along the city streets, sort of meandering along. He blinks up at the sound of Childe's voice and gives him a wave,]
Hey yourself. Can you believe people were still partying when we left?
[LIKE ALL THOSE NPCS THAT IM PRESUMABLY ASSUMING WERE ALSO AROUND]
[Lavi could make a million hellbucks off of his own feet pics...
He grins, though.]
I'm sure you'd get roped into things now and then no matter what. [SWEET POPULAR LAVI. But on that note--] What are you going to do if we do get to leave?
If I did, then you'd just be listening to me instead. [Maybe the end result would look the same, but it wouldn't quite be the same.] I'm just curious what you're thinking.
[the look in his eyes grows distant as he thinks, like he's looking far-off at something.
...this would be easier if the decision was in someone else's hands, if his name wasn't up on the board with everyone else's. he knows all the right things to say, he'd said them enough during the discussion. And maybe, if he were brave like Gideon and the others, then he'd have mentioned it there and then.]
...I'm thinking about how much I don't want to go back.
You know, I actually didn't think we'd win -- or that we'd be included if the living did. If I did, then I wouldn't be thinking about it so much now.
[He lets Lavi think in peace, content, apparently, to just wander the streets for a little while. Childe doesn't need much sleep, and the night air is good for clearing his mind after all that drinking anyway, so. They can take their time.]
Well, don't get your hopes up just yet. [Childe isn't so certain they have won, even if he's not as pessimistic about it as Scaramouche and Chandra.] But if we do--who says you have to? Go back, I mean.
Lavi's answer makes his lips quirk up into a smile.]
If it's not one or the other, it's both. [Duty or family--the strongest reasons for doing anything, he thinks.] Lu Bixing and some of the others are working on a way to travel between worlds, aren't they? You could stick with him until you're ready to go back.
[Childe remembers Lavi saying he wants to see Bookman again--but he also remembers Lavi talking about his hurt, his anger. He won't discourage him from going home, but... it doesn't mean he has to rush back into the very same situation that killed him, either.]
[He can see the merits in it. Maybe if he was really ruled by logic and cold hard fact, then he'd have already asked Bixing.]
But I know that if I go with him, then he'll want to help me. He'll do everything in his power to, no matter what. And not only him, but Jingheng and whoever else will go with him.
[he shakes his head]
I know they're all strong, and that maybe the same rules in my world don't apply to them, but I'm not willing to take that risk. And I don't want to give them the choice to, either.
[Much as he did when they talked after Lavi's return, Childe listens quietly, not offering any particular judgments or opinions one way or the other. He definitely has them, that's for sure--but his expression is unreadable.]
I take it they don't know, then. [About Lavi's circumstances, one way or the other. He doubts they'd leave it in Lavi's hands if they did.]
Bixing doesn't, at least. I told Gid and Hunter back when I was still on their side, but I didn't go into much detail with 'em. Bucky and Scaramouche saw my memories, but I don't think they told anyone else.
[he pauses and then squints a little because he's like sure they haven't but also he cannot predict Scaramouche at all,]
[He's a little surprised at the question, but it doesn't look like he minds,]
Hmm... She didn't say much. That was after Bucky's trial, when she asked me if I was thinking of killing like he did -- you know, to get invited to the party. [lol] I told her that there wouldn't be a point, since I was being held hostage before I died. She seemed surprised, and I think she thought I was being weird?
I'd have done the same though... We barely knew each other then, I could have been lying to her.
[Ah, yeah. That makes sense, if it was that long ago. After everything that's happened, it wouldn't be all that surprising if she doesn't remember, or if she didn't interpret it as quite as serious as it was, especially without the underlying knowledge--however incomplete--Childe has.]
Mm. I was just wondering. [Unsurprisingly, he knows a good deal about her situation, too... and though he never promised to keep any secrets from Lavi, he doesn't share it for now.
He sighs, then, putting his hands in his pockets.]
I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. [He wouldn't regardless, because, quite frankly, it's not up to him. But also, even with what he does know--it's not like he's an expert in Lavi's world, or even his situation. Giving out advice on a situation he only has a few blurry pieces of would be foolish.] But if we do get out of here, you're welcome to come with me for a while, if you want.
[Lavi wouldn't be the first Otherworlder he knows, after all, so even though he has no clue if Lu Bixing and Kon and Whoever Else's inventions are going to work, he knows there are other ways to leave Teyvat. But it's just a soft offer; he isn't going to get in the way of what Lavi feels he has to do.]
[If he looked surprised before, then it's no comparison to how Lavi looks now. Off-kilter, like he's just looked at Childe and heard the last thing he expected from him.
He'd expected the first part -- Childe giving him free rein over making his own decisions -- but the second...
...]
...What about your duty? [...] I know you're a pro at babysitting, but I'm still a stranger.
[not that he hasn't felt close to Childe at times, and not that he dislikes the other man at all. he just feels that childe should be very familiar with the distance Lavi puts between himself and others, making friends but not getting too close. useful for the time, but not much for lasting bonds or friendships,]
Who said anything about babysitting? [Please.] I have some things to take care of, so you'd have to stick with me for a little while, but it's not like you'd be in the way. And it wouldn't be that hard to get you set up somewhere after that. I don't lack for resources.
[The way he could literally get Lavi set up with a house and a stipend like. Upon revival. Sometimes you're just that fucking rich!!!]
You've already seen Liyue Harbor, and Zhongli-xiansheng would probably love you. You'd be fine. [A shrug.] Or you could look into joining the Fatui for a while, I suppose, but I figured you weren't interested in something like that.
[Lavi can take care of himself well enough, after all; it's not like he'd be a hindrance to have around. Childe just doubts Lavi has any interest in being his subordinate after that adventure.
And that's the thing--Childe doesn't need a lasting bond or a deep friendship. He wouldn't know how to trust it even if he had it. He does, perhaps, feel some responsibility--that stubborn part of himself that has never quite broken, that makes him want to look out for younger people who've leaned on him--but within reason. Childe's always been very clear about his priorities.
This isn't an offer to become lifelong companions. It's just an opportunity for Lavi to catch his breath, if he needs to.]
[It's a pretty picture. And it's one that Lavi, for all his talk of being detached and emotional and not really being Lavi, is touched by. He's reminded all over again how softly and quietly all these people have crept into his heart. His Bookman heart, meant to have no one linger.
He'll always remember Childe. He'll always remember this moment. No matter what happens next.]
I am pretty good at adapting. [he's a traveler by heart, and he's good at blending in.] I dunno if I'm good enough for the Fatui though. You have to be loyal to the Tsaritsa to join, right?
Not really. [CHILDE?] It helps, of course, but most of our people don't know much about our plans anyway. Many of them joined for other reasons.
[Reasons Lavi can guess at, probably; food, shelter, funding, family. Being born into it. There is, of course, zealous patriotism, but it's hardly the be-all end-all. Childe's a special case, sitting somewhere in-between self-interest and loyalty, no matter what he says about duty being less important than other things.
And that makes him snort.]
Scaramouche doesn't want anyone to be anywhere near him. But he'll be busy in another nation. [So who cares about his opinion!! Don't make choices based on what Scaramouche wants!!!
He shakes his head, though.] I won't push you to accept. I'm not entirely convinced we're getting out of here anyway. [So all these plans could be for nothing! But. It's good to have them, he thinks, just in case.] But think about it.
[It's not entirely unheard of, for organizations to be filled with people with different purposes. It's just been a while for Lavi, who's been part of an organization united in their one singular goal. To defeat the Akuma. To save humanity. Every single person tied to one another, bonds formed from shared trauma and codependency. Not that Lavi hates that, even now, the biggest part of his heart misses them.]
It does feel kinda premature to start making plans... Though I'm in this situation cause I didn't think hard enough earlier.
[maybe if he fully COMMITTED to going BACK then he'd have like 5000 different ways to deal with his situation, but sometimes you can't think beyond the fear that paralyzes you every time you think about it.]
[SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TRAUMA AND YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT... it's fine. That's the whole point of Childe's offer, after all; to give him that extra time. ]
Well, you've got all night to think it over. Just let me know tomorrow. Even if we're staying here for a while, it'll be good to keep in mind for the future.
[Since Childe doesn't intend to stay here in hell regardless. If it takes longer to get out than anticipated, that's fine.]
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week 7, saturday
Hey.
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Hey yourself. Can you believe people were still partying when we left?
[LIKE ALL THOSE NPCS THAT IM PRESUMABLY ASSUMING WERE ALSO AROUND]
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But he laughs.]
At this point, I can. We're going to have to build our tolerance even more if we end up stuck here. [SO MANY PARTIES. TRULY JUST ENDLESS PARTIES]
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That's a good point...
[he makes an EUGH face, he already does badly with alcohol.... imagine building up a tolerance]
Maybe I'll just be alcohol-free for the rest of eternity if we do.
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He grins, though.]
I'm sure you'd get roped into things now and then no matter what. [SWEET POPULAR LAVI. But on that note--] What are you going to do if we do get to leave?
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but also hmmmm, he looks both conflicted and fond at the question,]
You gonna tell me to go for what I want?
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If I did, then you'd just be listening to me instead. [Maybe the end result would look the same, but it wouldn't quite be the same.] I'm just curious what you're thinking.
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...this would be easier if the decision was in someone else's hands, if his name wasn't up on the board with everyone else's. he knows all the right things to say, he'd said them enough during the discussion. And maybe, if he were brave like Gideon and the others, then he'd have mentioned it there and then.]
...I'm thinking about how much I don't want to go back.
You know, I actually didn't think we'd win -- or that we'd be included if the living did. If I did, then I wouldn't be thinking about it so much now.
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Well, don't get your hopes up just yet. [Childe isn't so certain they have won, even if he's not as pessimistic about it as Scaramouche and Chandra.] But if we do--who says you have to? Go back, I mean.
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Lavi will meander along with Childe then as he thinks,]
Duty, I guess. [...] And family.
I was thinking of staying here instead, but I'm not sure about that either.
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Lavi's answer makes his lips quirk up into a smile.]
If it's not one or the other, it's both. [Duty or family--the strongest reasons for doing anything, he thinks.] Lu Bixing and some of the others are working on a way to travel between worlds, aren't they? You could stick with him until you're ready to go back.
[Childe remembers Lavi saying he wants to see Bookman again--but he also remembers Lavi talking about his hurt, his anger. He won't discourage him from going home, but... it doesn't mean he has to rush back into the very same situation that killed him, either.]
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[He can see the merits in it. Maybe if he was really ruled by logic and cold hard fact, then he'd have already asked Bixing.]
But I know that if I go with him, then he'll want to help me. He'll do everything in his power to, no matter what. And not only him, but Jingheng and whoever else will go with him.
[he shakes his head]
I know they're all strong, and that maybe the same rules in my world don't apply to them, but I'm not willing to take that risk. And I don't want to give them the choice to, either.
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I take it they don't know, then. [About Lavi's circumstances, one way or the other. He doubts they'd leave it in Lavi's hands if they did.]
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Bixing doesn't, at least. I told Gid and Hunter back when I was still on their side, but I didn't go into much detail with 'em. Bucky and Scaramouche saw my memories, but I don't think they told anyone else.
[he pauses and then squints a little because he's like sure they haven't but also he cannot predict Scaramouche at all,]
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...What did Gideon say? If you don't mind me asking.
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Hmm... She didn't say much. That was after Bucky's trial, when she asked me if I was thinking of killing like he did -- you know, to get invited to the party. [lol] I told her that there wouldn't be a point, since I was being held hostage before I died. She seemed surprised, and I think she thought I was being weird?
I'd have done the same though... We barely knew each other then, I could have been lying to her.
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Mm. I was just wondering. [Unsurprisingly, he knows a good deal about her situation, too... and though he never promised to keep any secrets from Lavi, he doesn't share it for now.
He sighs, then, putting his hands in his pockets.]
I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. [He wouldn't regardless, because, quite frankly, it's not up to him. But also, even with what he does know--it's not like he's an expert in Lavi's world, or even his situation. Giving out advice on a situation he only has a few blurry pieces of would be foolish.] But if we do get out of here, you're welcome to come with me for a while, if you want.
[Lavi wouldn't be the first Otherworlder he knows, after all, so even though he has no clue if Lu Bixing and Kon and Whoever Else's inventions are going to work, he knows there are other ways to leave Teyvat. But it's just a soft offer; he isn't going to get in the way of what Lavi feels he has to do.]
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He'd expected the first part -- Childe giving him free rein over making his own decisions -- but the second...
...]
...What about your duty? [...] I know you're a pro at babysitting, but I'm still a stranger.
[not that he hasn't felt close to Childe at times, and not that he dislikes the other man at all. he just feels that childe should be very familiar with the distance Lavi puts between himself and others, making friends but not getting too close. useful for the time, but not much for lasting bonds or friendships,]
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Who said anything about babysitting? [Please.] I have some things to take care of, so you'd have to stick with me for a little while, but it's not like you'd be in the way. And it wouldn't be that hard to get you set up somewhere after that. I don't lack for resources.
[The way he could literally get Lavi set up with a house and a stipend like. Upon revival. Sometimes you're just that fucking rich!!!]
You've already seen Liyue Harbor, and Zhongli-xiansheng would probably love you. You'd be fine. [A shrug.] Or you could look into joining the Fatui for a while, I suppose, but I figured you weren't interested in something like that.
[Lavi can take care of himself well enough, after all; it's not like he'd be a hindrance to have around. Childe just doubts Lavi has any interest in being his subordinate after that adventure.
And that's the thing--Childe doesn't need a lasting bond or a deep friendship. He wouldn't know how to trust it even if he had it. He does, perhaps, feel some responsibility--that stubborn part of himself that has never quite broken, that makes him want to look out for younger people who've leaned on him--but within reason. Childe's always been very clear about his priorities.
This isn't an offer to become lifelong companions. It's just an opportunity for Lavi to catch his breath, if he needs to.]
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He'll always remember Childe. He'll always remember this moment. No matter what happens next.]
I am pretty good at adapting. [he's a traveler by heart, and he's good at blending in.] I dunno if I'm good enough for the Fatui though. You have to be loyal to the Tsaritsa to join, right?
[(scaramouche voice) eh. speaking of,]
And I don't think Ako will want me over there.
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[Reasons Lavi can guess at, probably; food, shelter, funding, family. Being born into it. There is, of course, zealous patriotism, but it's hardly the be-all end-all. Childe's a special case, sitting somewhere in-between self-interest and loyalty, no matter what he says about duty being less important than other things.
And that makes him snort.]
Scaramouche doesn't want anyone to be anywhere near him. But he'll be busy in another nation. [So who cares about his opinion!! Don't make choices based on what Scaramouche wants!!!
He shakes his head, though.] I won't push you to accept. I'm not entirely convinced we're getting out of here anyway. [So all these plans could be for nothing! But. It's good to have them, he thinks, just in case.] But think about it.
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It does feel kinda premature to start making plans... Though I'm in this situation cause I didn't think hard enough earlier.
[maybe if he fully COMMITTED to going BACK then he'd have like 5000 different ways to deal with his situation, but sometimes you can't think beyond the fear that paralyzes you every time you think about it.]
...But I'll keep the offer in mind. Thanks.
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Well, you've got all night to think it over. Just let me know tomorrow. Even if we're staying here for a while, it'll be good to keep in mind for the future.
[Since Childe doesn't intend to stay here in hell regardless. If it takes longer to get out than anticipated, that's fine.]