AND LOOK at least he didn't punch him through a wall THEY'RE STILL CLOSE YOU NEEDY CARROT.
And technically this didn't happen bc I got tired on part 2 but icly it probably would have so. He brushes himself off.]
...Yeah. [But. Well. He's used to hallucinations, and the happiness curse was probably strong enough to ward off the worst of the effects at the time.] It's fine. It wore off.
[lavi loves affection week so muchhhhh but maybe he should change the subject to something else Kanda will probably be annoyed about? he stops tapping Kanda's face, and instead drops his hand to his shoulder,]
[Lavi's lucky Kanda didn't affectionately bodyslam him into the ground
He makes a face, but he doesn't shrug the hand off... TRULY THIS IS SUCH NORMAL BEHAVIOR FROM LAVI ANYWAY the only difference this week is his tolerance level, god. Even then, there are times where he doesn't shove Lavi away immediately, so it's hard to say whether right now is the effect or not. ]
I was always okay, stupid. [All of it was annoying, but ultimately harmless. He'll probably forget today even happened in a few weeks, if he's still alive to think about anything at all.] Don't tell me you drank that tea.
[With your HEADACHES... THERE'S NO KOMU-VITAMIN C OR WHATEVER]
Lavi looks at him for a moment longer, because as much as he can trust Kanda -- he wants to know what he saw? again, that stupid curiosity of his.... that he has for pretty much everyone, but it feels almost insatiable when it comes to Kanda.]
Nah, I just had some of Asa's soup when I fell in.
[a little lizard mouthful... and then he was either in kanda's pocket or snuggling with robin during the maypole dance, damn]
But I saw how everyone was freaked out after taking theirs. So it got me worried about you.
[Comes back here sulking because I'm not dead yet... MAYBE TOMORROW...
He didn't drink the soup but he didn't see anyone freaking out about it so this doesn't worry him too much. "People were high and also fluffy" THAT'S DIFFERENT]
It wore off fast. Being hungover was worse. [He can get hungover now Lavi did u know that]
I thought you didn't get hungover. [well actually he is recalling a certain story about TEQUILA but that wasn't kanda being hungover that was kanda being DRUNK]
[Well. Usually. I GUESS IF HE SEES HIM POST-BATH ON THURSDAY HE'LL CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THE CRACKED EDGES OF KANDA'S SEAL though probably not much of it since Kanda's undershirt just has a t-shirt neck tragically. But this is a Wednesday thread so not yet.
...But he knows Lavi's just going to keep asking for more if that's all he says, so even though this is a GREAT HASSLE, he adds--] It's slower than it was.
[Lavi picks out the last precise memory of Kanda in battle, regenerating from yet another wound -- and it's precise because he knows the exact date and time and hour, where it was and who they were with. and it really wasn't that long ago at all, right before he'd been sent to China in fact.
So whatever happened -- whatever changed -- must have happened while Lavi was MIA, when Kanda was either at Jordan or taken to the North American branch.]
How bad was North America? [how hard did you push yourself?] Three years, and your ability's always been the same.
[well except for the progression of Kanda's tattoo, which Lavi clearly remembers too,]
Kanda doesn't answer--but he does meet Lavi's gaze. There's... a depth, there, a worn, hollow grief that he can't fully mask, tinged with faint regret--but he's steady and calm in the face of Lavi's rising distress.]
I'm still here, aren't I?
[Even though Alma tried, overwhelmed with rage and grief and pain--to stop him from learning the truth, to grant him peace and freedom, to make them into martyrs and stain the Order's reputation forever.
Against all odds, Kanda survived, like he always does. Even here, disconnected from his healing and learning what it's like to look at blemishes on his skin or feel the pain from cuts and bruises for longer than a minute, he can't quite view himself as mortal. As human. He doesn't know how he feels, now that he's the closest to it that he's ever been--but in the end, he's still standing, and isn't that all that matters?]
[It's not a depth Lavi's used to seeing from Kanda -- or has seen ever.
at least, not before waking up here with months between them. before seeing the name 'alma karma' inked across kanda's skin, and the expression on his face when Lavi spoke it out loud. people can have so many regrets, hundreds of them, but Kanda does not -- so Lavi can't help link the two together. that moment and now.
and just like then, a spark of frustration races through him.]
For now.
[and isn't that the crux of the problem? because for everyone else, Lavi lives with a part of him always ready to lose them, one hand offered and the other hand waiting to scribble in the date of death. but kanda.... sometime between all the regenerating and miraculous saves and surviving, he'd become an exception somehow. do you think I'd die in there? back then, the right answer was yes, because Kanda couldn't be an exception -- but now when thinks of that question again, the truth rears up inside him.
no, because I got used to you living, and mysterious spooky cult towns is one thing, but knowing that you're still different even when we got back home is another
he reaches out to take Kanda's wrist, the hold looser than his hug earlier,]
Let's keep it that way.
[as if it's up to them. but he doesn't know what else to say, because he hadn't counted on this happening in the first place. doesn't know what face to put on, or to scale back his frustration and fear to a manageable level or even voice it in a way that he won't regret for a myriad of reasons]
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I was cursed... [DON'T BLAME HIM!!!!] And you rescued me!
[SO IT'S ALL GOOD............. this hug is very comforting and nice for his lizard nerves]
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Don't die in such a stupid way. [DEATH BY "SQUASHED AS A SALAMANDER"... HE'D TURN LAVI INTO AN AKUMA PURELY TO KILL HIM AGAIN IN IRRITATION]
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he gets shoved off....... :( no.... he'll sit up the same time Kanda does, marveling in limbs that have opposable thumbs.]
At least I got to avoid all that stuff at the end though.
[thinks about kanda dancing around the maypole with a smile on his face..... scary]
You okay? Did you drink any of that tea?
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AND LOOK at least he didn't punch him through a wall THEY'RE STILL CLOSE YOU NEEDY CARROT.
And technically this didn't happen bc I got tired on part 2 but icly it probably would have so. He brushes himself off.]
...Yeah. [But. Well. He's used to hallucinations, and the happiness curse was probably strong enough to ward off the worst of the effects at the time.] It's fine. It wore off.
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but they're also close enough that Lavi has free real estate over Kanda's expression, peering unabashedly at him,]
What did it do exactly?
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[
I actually don't know if he even realizes the hallucinations were from the tea now that I think about it]
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You mean the voices?
[where is kanda looking right now HELLO]
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Everything.
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...How bad was it?
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That stupid curse was worse. [IT WAS NOT]
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I don't think it was that bad. You acted the same! Except you were just happy about it...
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[HE LAUGHED ONE TIME AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. NEVER AGAIN]
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Don't call 'em stupid! They were nice. [(nice guy voice) you should smile more
he taps the side of Kanda's face with a finger, testing god]
But I'd like it more if it was really you smiling.
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I'll smile when I take your head off your neck.
[AND YET, BY THE POWER OF AFFECTION WEEK, MUGEN REMAINS SHEATHED]
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...So you're really okay now?
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He makes a face, but he doesn't shrug the hand off... TRULY THIS IS SUCH NORMAL BEHAVIOR FROM LAVI ANYWAY the only difference this week is his tolerance level, god. Even then, there are times where he doesn't shove Lavi away immediately, so it's hard to say whether right now is the effect or not. ]
I was always okay, stupid. [All of it was annoying, but ultimately harmless. He'll probably forget today even happened in a few weeks, if he's still alive to think about anything at all.] Don't tell me you drank that tea.
[With your HEADACHES... THERE'S NO KOMU-VITAMIN C OR WHATEVER]
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Lavi looks at him for a moment longer, because as much as he can trust Kanda -- he wants to know what he saw? again, that stupid curiosity of his.... that he has for pretty much everyone, but it feels almost insatiable when it comes to Kanda.]
Nah, I just had some of Asa's soup when I fell in.
[a little lizard mouthful... and then he was either in kanda's pocket or snuggling with robin during the maypole dance, damn]
But I saw how everyone was freaked out after taking theirs. So it got me worried about you.
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He didn't drink the soup but he didn't see anyone freaking out about it so this doesn't worry him too much. "People were high and also fluffy" THAT'S DIFFERENT]
It wore off fast. Being hungover was worse. [He can get hungover now Lavi did u know that]
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I thought you didn't get hungover. [well actually he is recalling a certain story about TEQUILA but that wasn't kanda being hungover that was kanda being DRUNK]
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He blinks and makes an "oh yeah" face as he remembers Lavi doesn't know...]
I do now, I guess.
[
Doesn't elaborate]
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...What about the rest?
[HE MEANS YOUR REGENERATION KANDA]
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[Well. Usually. I GUESS IF HE SEES HIM POST-BATH ON THURSDAY HE'LL CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THE CRACKED EDGES OF KANDA'S SEAL though probably not much of it since Kanda's undershirt just has a t-shirt neck tragically. But this is a Wednesday thread so not yet.
...But he knows Lavi's just going to keep asking for more if that's all he says, so even though this is a GREAT HASSLE, he adds--] It's slower than it was.
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So whatever happened -- whatever changed -- must have happened while Lavi was MIA, when Kanda was either at Jordan or taken to the North American branch.]
How bad was North America? [how hard did you push yourself?] Three years, and your ability's always been the same.
[well except for the progression of Kanda's tattoo, which Lavi clearly remembers too,]
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Kanda doesn't answer--but he does meet Lavi's gaze. There's... a depth, there, a worn, hollow grief that he can't fully mask, tinged with faint regret--but he's steady and calm in the face of Lavi's rising distress.]
I'm still here, aren't I?
[Even though Alma tried, overwhelmed with rage and grief and pain--to stop him from learning the truth, to grant him peace and freedom, to make them into martyrs and stain the Order's reputation forever.
Against all odds, Kanda survived, like he always does. Even here, disconnected from his healing and learning what it's like to look at blemishes on his skin or feel the pain from cuts and bruises for longer than a minute, he can't quite view himself as mortal. As human. He doesn't know how he feels, now that he's the closest to it that he's ever been--but in the end, he's still standing, and isn't that all that matters?]
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at least, not before waking up here with months between them. before seeing the name 'alma karma' inked across kanda's skin, and the expression on his face when Lavi spoke it out loud. people can have so many regrets, hundreds of them, but Kanda does not -- so Lavi can't help link the two together. that moment and now.
and just like then, a spark of frustration races through him.]
For now.
[and isn't that the crux of the problem? because for everyone else, Lavi lives with a part of him always ready to lose them, one hand offered and the other hand waiting to scribble in the date of death. but kanda.... sometime between all the regenerating and miraculous saves and surviving, he'd become an exception somehow. do you think I'd die in there? back then, the right answer was yes, because Kanda couldn't be an exception -- but now when thinks of that question again, the truth rears up inside him.
no, because I got used to you living, and mysterious spooky cult towns is one thing, but knowing that you're still different even when we got back home is another
he reaches out to take Kanda's wrist, the hold looser than his hug earlier,]
Let's keep it that way.
[as if it's up to them. but he doesn't know what else to say, because he hadn't counted on this happening in the first place. doesn't know what face to put on, or to scale back his frustration and fear to a manageable level or even voice it in a way that he won't regret for a myriad of reasons]
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