[HE DOES KNOW THEM, HE CAN PICTURE HOW THAT LOOKS!!! DAMN!!!!! He feels restless, not so much out of shock and disappointment -- but more from hearing about it all secondhand. he should have been there. (to help or to see?)]
...Like when Allen got stabbed by his Innocence.
[IN THE TIMOTHY ArC THAT HE ALSO WASN'T THErE FOr....]
It's just him and Johnny now? With the whole Order after them?
[LIKE WHEN ALLEN GOT STABBED BY HIS INNOCENCE, WHICH KANDA ALSO DID NOT REPORT PROPERLY..... he actually looks away at that reminder. Imagine if he'd reported it to Komui, where would they be now...
Kanda doesn't waste time thinking about that, though. There's no timeline in which he would've trusted or cared about the Order enough to do that, so it's a moot point.]
They'll be fine. The beansprout's a slippery little brat, and Johnny will keep him in line. [Since when does Kanda respect Johnny so much LAVI YOU'VE BEEN CHAIR'D FOR SO LONG.] He told me to go back and take care of the Order.
[...? He did, didn't he? Right, yes. He did.
But more importantly:]
If he's the Fourteenth next time we meet, I'll kill him. That hasn't changed.
[It's just that now it's more like mercy, the repayment of a debt, than anything else.]
[I FOrGOT THAT KANDA DIDNT rEPOrT IT... GOD DAMN how did lavi find out wow he's psychic now
also yeah it's actually so weird to hear kanda say something vaguely nice about anyone even if it is johnny, but what's even weirder is that Kanda listened to allen wow,]
And you listened?
[huh........ DID THEIr rELATIONSHIP GrOW STrONGEr BECAUSE OF THEIr STABBING????? WHAT THE FCK oh wait no kanda said he'd kill the fourteenth. he makes a face]
[LFMSDKJGHKS IT'S FINE Marie and Link were also there PEOPLE SAW ALLEN GET STABBED THEY JUST DIDN'T SEE HIS NEA FACE... Lavi just extrapolated with his big brain
Also the way he immediately bristles]
I have better things to do than follow that idiot around everywhere!
[WOW WELL HE'S NOT WRONG BUT STILL WHO JUMPED INTO THE ARK AFTER ALLEN AND LENALEE AND LAVI GOT SUCKED IN HUH KANDA? WHO DID THAT
Lavi simply looks at Kanda like he's trying to fit this strangely new? version? of him with all his prior memories. it's like this dead-eyed "allen is so stupid" face is different somehow...]
...Hey, Yuu... What exactly did Allen stop you from doing?
His face does something complicated at the question--not the usual prickly "back off" expression, but an odd combination of closed off yet... surprised? It's weird, is all, being around someone who wasn't there to see it all play out, or even in the aftermath to hear the gossip spread like wildfire through the Order, as Kanda is sure it must have. It's even weirder that it's Lavi, someone who's known him much longer than Allen, and more importantly, the one who knows everything about everyone. Kanda wouldn't have talked about it regardless, but he always assumed the Bookmen knew about the Second Exorcist Program and all its sordid details.
Still, Kanda has never been in the habit of opening up, and he wouldn't know how to start even if he wanted to. So, after a long pause as he tries to figure out how to answer, he settles on--]
Running.
[Which doesn't tell Lavi anything he actually wants to know, but it's the best explanation Kanda's got.]
[WHAT A VAGUE ANSWER THAT TELLS HIM NOTHING, but as Lavi has long since learned -- talking to Kanda means more than just waiting to hear what he has to say. it's paying attention to him -- looking at the expression on his face, the curtness of his tone, the pointed silences. there's always more to Kanda than just his words, there always has been.
...so he's not used to coming up short regardless. it's been a while since he has.]
Was this back in Jordan? [damn. what happened in jordan the fck] What else happened there?
No. [HE'S BACK TO THE STINKY "NOAH BASTARDS" FACE] That shitty Forehead Noah knocked me out and took me to the North America branch. They invaded again, with the Earl.
[He's looking at Lavi like "damn you really did miss fucking everything HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UNCONSCIOUS"
But also his hands curl into fists--which briefly distracts him from this conversation, and he lifts his palm and tugs his glove thingy off to frown at his STILL-OPEN PAPERCUTS AND LEECH BITES]
Still? [Damn he didn't think his healing slowed down THIS MUCH?]
[HELLO DON'T LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT ALSO DON'T JUST BARE YOUR ARMS... SCANDALOUS....
Lavi moves closer to stare at Kanda's arms too because what's personal space, noting the stupid PAPERCUTS and LEECH BITES, neither of which surprise him because of course Kanda tried ripping down his poster and of course he fell into the stream and got leeched, this dumbass -- hold on a second,
woah this obvious cross-shaped scar, looks so much like another cross-shaped scar on someone else? he immediately grabs Kanda's arm,]
[STOP HE HAS BARE ARMS ALL THE TIME... also damn I can't believe he mysteriously reached into the river and got more leech bites yesterday wow I definitely didn't get mixed up in my threads
Anyway Lavi is very lucky he's on Kanda's shortlist of people allowed to touch him, so even though he makes a "nyeh" face, he lets him grab and look. He is also mentally gauging how they look compared to, like, fifteen minutes ago in his memory, but it doesn't look any worse than it did before.]
Yeah. Not long ago. [How long did he and Johnny even spend looking for Allen I DON'T KNOW]
[this is why people will think they're gay together bc kanda won't let anyone else touch him..... time to open his heart to aventurine
Lavi keeps his hand there, because he's once again distracted by Kanda's answer.
'not long ago.']
...Was it after I went missing?
[kanda never said it in those specific words, but. Lavi can put the pieces together? the fact that he hadn't known where Lavi was, even though he'd been sent on a mission to China with Gramps and Chaoji and Marie -- that Lenalee had cried because of him -- even though she was a continent away. the way their recollections are so different, Kanda apparently remembering so many things that happened that couldn't have in the brief span of Lavi blacking out and then waking up here.
there's a discrepancy here that he truly doesn't like, but it doesn't take a GENIUS to realize that it exists]
But--well. Again, Kanda is the last person in the world who'll sugarcoat anything, so he says it flat out.]
You've been gone for months. At least four, by now.
[Counting the time it took to track down Johnny, and then Allen after that--it might even be closer to five, if he really sat down to do the math.
And Kanda's... not good at showing concern, but he does pay attention, and he knows that expression.]
You really don't remember anything? [Because Kanda's an idiot, but even he can see the logical conclusion of "I was fighting a Noah and blacked out" + "months have gone by that Lavi apparently wasn't aware of"]
[Four months... (the world really blew up in four months huh)
The look on Lavi's face is uncharacteristically rattled, unhappy in a way he rarely deigns to show, but he doesn't have Bookman around to tell him to get over it -- in fact, his thoughts stray to the old man first.
and they should really stay there, but he starts thinking of more people too. chaoji and marie. lenalee. allen. krory. miranda. komui. everyone at the order. how they must have looked when he didn't make it back. and his mood darkens even more, caught between wanting them to be alright and trying not to think of them in the first place. why couldn't all his problems be FIXED while he was gone for FOUR MONTHS.... damn]
...No.
[he shifts his hand lower on Kanda's arm, distracting himself by looking at his still injured PAPERCUTS, just so he could steel himself for his next question]
[Bookman definitely isn't here to tell him to get over it, and Kanda won't--not when he's always found Lavi at his most tolerable without the veneer.]
We assumed you were together.
[Which is part of the reason most of the Order figured they were still alive, even the chronic worriers like Lenalee. And besides, Bookmen are mysterious; they've never been obligated to tell anyone where they're going or what they're doing, so the idea of them vanishing as quickly as they'd arrived was never off the table. Kanda can't say he didn't find their disappearance odd, especially knowing the sort of person Lavi is (insomuch as either of them really know each other, of course, beyond those rare, quiet moments), but. Well. He'd had his own things to deal with. Sometimes you have to decompress from killing the love of your lives for the second time and then you have to chase after a different dumbass because you repay your debts.
But, also:]
Why would they bring you here and not him...?
[LIKE. WHO WOULD WANT LAVI AND KANDA AND NOT THE INFINITELY MORE RELEVANT/USEFUL PEOPLE THEY WERE JUST WITH?? Maybe they're just in a different part of the fog...]
[He shifts at that, because he can see why they'd think that, because it's true? three years and counting, but it could all end in a blink too. if the innocence grows too strong, if his heart wavers too much....
and anyway he'd think the same being together -- he's never been without Gramps, in all of his years of living (hoshino: lavi is 600). Sure, he's been sent on different missions, and then there was the whole ark thing, but he'd always known where Bookman was then, trusting that he'd eventually see him again.
His silence grows longer, almost unbearable to someone as chatty as Lavi, so he grabs onto the question when Kanda asks it,]
Maybe he got away.
[he wants to take it back as soon as he says it. it sounds a little too much like blind optimism, and he knows how much kanda likes that,]
Or maybe they needed him for something else. He's the Bookman, and m'just the apprentice. He's valuable.
[Eventually, he tugs his arm away. He doesn't think he needs to point out which option he thinks is more likely--especially because he has eyes and doesn't think Bookman would just ditch Lavi to save his own skin.]
They'll show up eventually. [The Noah always do... tch] They'll probably tell us then.
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...Like when Allen got stabbed by his Innocence.
[IN THE TIMOTHY ArC THAT HE ALSO WASN'T THErE FOr....]
It's just him and Johnny now? With the whole Order after them?
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Kanda doesn't waste time thinking about that, though. There's no timeline in which he would've trusted or cared about the Order enough to do that, so it's a moot point.]
They'll be fine. The beansprout's a slippery little brat, and Johnny will keep him in line. [Since when does Kanda respect Johnny so much LAVI YOU'VE BEEN CHAIR'D FOR SO LONG.] He told me to go back and take care of the Order.
[...? He did, didn't he? Right, yes. He did.
But more importantly:]
If he's the Fourteenth next time we meet, I'll kill him. That hasn't changed.
[It's just that now it's more like mercy, the repayment of a debt, than anything else.]
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also yeah it's actually so weird to hear kanda say something vaguely nice about anyone even if it is johnny, but what's even weirder is that Kanda listened to allen wow,]
And you listened?
[huh........ DID THEIr rELATIONSHIP GrOW STrONGEr BECAUSE OF THEIr STABBING????? WHAT THE FCK oh wait no kanda said he'd kill the fourteenth. he makes a face]
...He'd probably prefer that. Idiot.
[calling other people idiot..........]
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Also the way he immediately bristles]
I have better things to do than follow that idiot around everywhere!
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HE JUST LOOKS AT KANDA WITH THIS hehe FACE]
Yuu..............
[yuu...... (pleading emoji) the friendship.....]
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Hehe.
[DONT HEHE… miraculously he does stop hehe-ing bc this is still first day mg]
So you were nabbed on your way back and I was taken during the fight… Why’s it just us?
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No idea. Akuma were after the beansprout in town, so if I'm here, he should be too. Those Noah bastards might've taken him somewhere else already.
[This whole thing reeks of Noah bullshit, after all?? THERE ARE PENTAGRAMS ON THE GROUND]
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You think they just left us here? Wouldn’t they have just killed us?
[you wish lavi]
If they only care about Allen, then there’s no point keeping us prisoner.
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It's the fastest way to get him here if they couldn't find him.
[DUMBASS BITCH WHO GOES AFTER HIS FRIENDS LIKE A PERSON WITH FEELINGS, EMOTIONS]
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Lavi simply looks at Kanda like he's trying to fit this strangely new? version? of him with all his prior memories. it's like this dead-eyed "allen is so stupid" face is different somehow...]
...Hey, Yuu... What exactly did Allen stop you from doing?
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His face does something complicated at the question--not the usual prickly "back off" expression, but an odd combination of closed off yet... surprised? It's weird, is all, being around someone who wasn't there to see it all play out, or even in the aftermath to hear the gossip spread like wildfire through the Order, as Kanda is sure it must have. It's even weirder that it's Lavi, someone who's known him much longer than Allen, and more importantly, the one who knows everything about everyone. Kanda wouldn't have talked about it regardless, but he always assumed the Bookmen knew about the Second Exorcist Program and all its sordid details.
Still, Kanda has never been in the habit of opening up, and he wouldn't know how to start even if he wanted to. So, after a long pause as he tries to figure out how to answer, he settles on--]
Running.
[Which doesn't tell Lavi anything he actually wants to know, but it's the best explanation Kanda's got.]
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...so he's not used to coming up short regardless. it's been a while since he has.]
Was this back in Jordan? [damn. what happened in jordan the fck] What else happened there?
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[THEIR SECURITY IS SO FUCKING BAD]
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WHAT? HE JUST LOOKS AT KANDA LIKE WHAT THE FCK, WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THIS NOW? HIS FACE LIKE 'OKAY. AND THEN WHAT? AND THEN WHAT KANDA????']
Hold on, hold on -- a Noah knocked you out and took you to all the way to America?
[WHAT? WHAT????]
Why?
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But also his hands curl into fists--which briefly distracts him from this conversation, and he lifts his palm and tugs his glove thingy off to frown at his STILL-OPEN PAPERCUTS AND LEECH BITES]
Still? [Damn he didn't think his healing slowed down THIS MUCH?]
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Lavi moves closer to stare at Kanda's arms too because what's personal space, noting the stupid PAPERCUTS and LEECH BITES, neither of which surprise him because of course Kanda tried ripping down his poster and of course he fell into the stream and got leeched, this dumbass -- hold on a second,
woah this obvious cross-shaped scar, looks so much like another cross-shaped scar on someone else? he immediately grabs Kanda's arm,]
Yuu -- this is... Your Innocence crystallized?
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Anyway Lavi is very lucky he's on Kanda's shortlist of people allowed to touch him, so even though he makes a "nyeh" face, he lets him grab and look. He is also mentally gauging how they look compared to, like, fifteen minutes ago in his memory, but it doesn't look any worse than it did before.]
Yeah. Not long ago. [How long did he and Johnny even spend looking for Allen I DON'T KNOW]
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Lavi keeps his hand there, because he's once again distracted by Kanda's answer.
'not long ago.']
...Was it after I went missing?
[kanda never said it in those specific words, but. Lavi can put the pieces together? the fact that he hadn't known where Lavi was, even though he'd been sent on a mission to China with Gramps and Chaoji and Marie -- that Lenalee had cried because of him -- even though she was a continent away. the way their recollections are so different, Kanda apparently remembering so many things that happened that couldn't have in the brief span of Lavi blacking out and then waking up here.
there's a discrepancy here that he truly doesn't like, but it doesn't take a GENIUS to realize that it exists]
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But--well. Again, Kanda is the last person in the world who'll sugarcoat anything, so he says it flat out.]
You've been gone for months. At least four, by now.
[Counting the time it took to track down Johnny, and then Allen after that--it might even be closer to five, if he really sat down to do the math.
And Kanda's... not good at showing concern, but he does pay attention, and he knows that expression.]
You really don't remember anything? [Because Kanda's an idiot, but even he can see the logical conclusion of "I was fighting a Noah and blacked out" + "months have gone by that Lavi apparently wasn't aware of"]
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The look on Lavi's face is uncharacteristically rattled, unhappy in a way he rarely deigns to show, but he doesn't have Bookman around to tell him to get over it -- in fact, his thoughts stray to the old man first.
and they should really stay there, but he starts thinking of more people too. chaoji and marie. lenalee. allen. krory. miranda. komui. everyone at the order. how they must have looked when he didn't make it back. and his mood darkens even more, caught between wanting them to be alright and trying not to think of them in the first place. why couldn't all his problems be FIXED while he was gone for FOUR MONTHS.... damn]
...No.
[he shifts his hand lower on Kanda's arm, distracting himself by looking at his still injured PAPERCUTS, just so he could steel himself for his next question]
The old man too?
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We assumed you were together.
[Which is part of the reason most of the Order figured they were still alive, even the chronic worriers like Lenalee. And besides, Bookmen are mysterious; they've never been obligated to tell anyone where they're going or what they're doing, so the idea of them vanishing as quickly as they'd arrived was never off the table. Kanda can't say he didn't find their disappearance odd, especially knowing the sort of person Lavi is (insomuch as either of them really know each other, of course, beyond those rare, quiet moments), but. Well. He'd had his own things to deal with. Sometimes you have to decompress from killing the love of your lives for the second time and then you have to chase after a different dumbass because you repay your debts.
But, also:]
Why would they bring you here and not him...?
[LIKE. WHO WOULD WANT LAVI AND KANDA AND NOT THE INFINITELY MORE RELEVANT/USEFUL PEOPLE THEY WERE JUST WITH?? Maybe they're just in a different part of the fog...]
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and anyway he'd think the same being together -- he's never been without Gramps, in all of his years of living (hoshino: lavi is 600). Sure, he's been sent on different missions, and then there was the whole ark thing, but he'd always known where Bookman was then, trusting that he'd eventually see him again.
His silence grows longer, almost unbearable to someone as chatty as Lavi, so he grabs onto the question when Kanda asks it,]
Maybe he got away.
[he wants to take it back as soon as he says it. it sounds a little too much like blind optimism, and he knows how much kanda likes that,]
Or maybe they needed him for something else. He's the Bookman, and m'just the apprentice. He's valuable.
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They'll show up eventually. [The Noah always do... tch] They'll probably tell us then.
[Villainous taunt speeches etc. etc.]
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lavi makes a face at that... they really always do]
...So we just gotta sit and wait.... [damn....] We should do some more explorin' until then.
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