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[gives you the last twenty minutes or so of baby lavi
honestly at this point he is just hanging out with Kanda now, no more skulking like a weirdo in the bg of all his pcs, KANDA!!!! COME INTO THE LIGHT!!!!
...]
Gramps left me behind, didn't he.
[Puts him on a high shelf
But yes after the initial panic of FUCK I CAN'T LET THIS BRAT OUT OF MY SIGHT BUT ALSO WHAT DO I DO WITH AN ACTUAL CHILD I DON'T SPEND ANY TIME WITH TIMOTHY BECAUSE HE'S A SNOT-NOSED BRAT, he'll just kind of. Linger around, keeping an eye on him without interfering with everyone else's "coo over baby Lavi" time. Or the GetoLavi date.
But he's still freezing and struggling to breathe on and off, so they're back by the pyre for now, maybe with books or snacks for Lavi or something.]
No. [No thoughts broadcasted to betray him this time, but--Kanda isn't much of a liar anyway, apart from the tsun behavior.] You were together before we got here.
But yes after the initial panic of FUCK I CAN'T LET THIS BRAT OUT OF MY SIGHT BUT ALSO WHAT DO I DO WITH AN ACTUAL CHILD I DON'T SPEND ANY TIME WITH TIMOTHY BECAUSE HE'S A SNOT-NOSED BRAT, he'll just kind of. Linger around, keeping an eye on him without interfering with everyone else's "coo over baby Lavi" time. Or the GetoLavi date.
But he's still freezing and struggling to breathe on and off, so they're back by the pyre for now, maybe with books or snacks for Lavi or something.]
No. [No thoughts broadcasted to betray him this time, but--Kanda isn't much of a liar anyway, apart from the tsun behavior.] You were together before we got here.
[DON'T CALL IT A DATE THAT'S PROBLEMATIC
...Lavi scoots closer so that he's squished right next to Kanda, this weirdo guy who keeps gasping for breath and feels like a popsicle even now, and for some reason he feels like he can trust, even though he's so weird.... weirdo......]
...He was really mad at me. He still is.
[Cause I tried saving Christina. And then she died anyway.]
I broke the rules.
[It's fine Lavi will change back to a 19-year-old eventually and then he can be with his bf Geto again properly
If Kanda wasn't a wholeass idiot, he'd lift the blanket to let Lavi in properly; as it is, the best he can do is tolerating this, and he probably won't shove him away if Lavi burrows under there on his own.
Getting attached...
He doesn't acknowledge Lavi's thoughts out loud, nor his own.]
He'll get over it. [Probably? The Bookman Kanda knows so clearly cares about Lavi--enough that Kanda feels confident speaking for him like this.] You're in training.
If Kanda wasn't a wholeass idiot, he'd lift the blanket to let Lavi in properly; as it is, the best he can do is tolerating this, and he probably won't shove him away if Lavi burrows under there on his own.
Getting attached...
He doesn't acknowledge Lavi's thoughts out loud, nor his own.]
He'll get over it. [Probably? The Bookman Kanda knows so clearly cares about Lavi--enough that Kanda feels confident speaking for him like this.] You're in training.
[WE HAVE TOO MANY FUCKING PCs
Well he. Left immediately, obviously, right after Camille confirmed she didn't know about the plan. He went off to the woods to work his stress off; Lavi can find him out there, or brooding by the stream later, though he'll come back to the house eventually.
Now that Lavi's seen his most important memories, he probably doesn't need to ask why Kanda's so upset; that, and Lavi being... well, Lavi, is the main reason he doesn't exude "fuck off" energy as Lavi approaches him. He doesn't look over or do anything to acknowledge he senses Lavi's presence, but. It's Kanda. So of course he does.]
Well he. Left immediately, obviously, right after Camille confirmed she didn't know about the plan. He went off to the woods to work his stress off; Lavi can find him out there, or brooding by the stream later, though he'll come back to the house eventually.
Now that Lavi's seen his most important memories, he probably doesn't need to ask why Kanda's so upset; that, and Lavi being... well, Lavi, is the main reason he doesn't exude "fuck off" energy as Lavi approaches him. He doesn't look over or do anything to acknowledge he senses Lavi's presence, but. It's Kanda. So of course he does.]
[LISTEN.... MANY THINGS KEEP HAPPENING
Lavi heads into the woods, scrap of paper nestled in his pocket now that he's shown a few people, trusting that it'll spread now on its own. More importantly, he is looking for Kanda now, because of course he'd look for him after those afternoon reveals -- after waiting a bit to give him some time to work it off. He spots Kanda by the stream and heads on over,]
We'll be alone for a bit. Everyone else is over at the camp.
[I hope they've given Yuu some space.]
Lavi heads into the woods, scrap of paper nestled in his pocket now that he's shown a few people, trusting that it'll spread now on its own. More importantly, he is looking for Kanda now, because of course he'd look for him after those afternoon reveals -- after waiting a bit to give him some time to work it off. He spots Kanda by the stream and heads on over,]
We'll be alone for a bit. Everyone else is over at the camp.
[I hope they've given Yuu some space.]
[Imagine people ever giving Kanda space
He doesn't move, which is probably permission for Lavi to come sit next to him if he wants.]
Good.
[He doesn't want to deal with them right now, even if he's burned off the most visceral and immediate anger.]
He doesn't move, which is probably permission for Lavi to come sit next to him if he wants.]
Good.
[He doesn't want to deal with them right now, even if he's burned off the most visceral and immediate anger.]
[He does want!! He'll sit down next to Kanda.
He can say a dozen things right now that will ring hollow, because Lavi knows why Kanda left, he knows the exact reasons for his anger now, and he knows it's not the kind anyone should be asked to set aside to see the bigger picture.
He doesn't want Kanda to have to do that -- not after years of having to do it himself.]
Did you talk to Camille? Before she died and got brought back.
[Did you offer?
He can say a dozen things right now that will ring hollow, because Lavi knows why Kanda left, he knows the exact reasons for his anger now, and he knows it's not the kind anyone should be asked to set aside to see the bigger picture.
He doesn't want Kanda to have to do that -- not after years of having to do it himself.]
Did you talk to Camille? Before she died and got brought back.
[Did you offer?
[We can be slow on this one idc I'm just establishing it's happening BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE CRAZY DOES PLEASE WHY ARE THERE SO MANY EXPLOSIONS
I don't know maybe they didn't get enough sleep because Kanda was off fuming and Lavi was making out with Geto to restore balance I DON'T KNOW LAVI'S LIFE. For whatever reason they're out here early... pre-sunrise... Kanda is following Lavi despite constantly talking about how he doesn't want to do things with Lavi KANDA YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID
Anyway
What are we doing.]
What are we doing.
I don't know maybe they didn't get enough sleep because Kanda was off fuming and Lavi was making out with Geto to restore balance I DON'T KNOW LAVI'S LIFE. For whatever reason they're out here early... pre-sunrise... Kanda is following Lavi despite constantly talking about how he doesn't want to do things with Lavi KANDA YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID
Anyway
What are we doing.]
What are we doing.
[the funniest thing that could happen is if they get love arrowed tomorrow
ALSO STOP HE'S NOT MAKING OUT WITH GETO... Lavi loves sleep so bad... But he still crawls out of bed just in time to catch Kanda before he does 5000 push ups at 4 am. Sorry about your rigorous scheduling, Kanda, because Lavi is dragging him to the new location -- the amusement park, to be exact.]
We're here to catch the sunrise! Now c'mon.
[DRAGS HIM TO THE FERRIS WHEEL!!!]
ALSO STOP HE'S NOT MAKING OUT WITH GETO... Lavi loves sleep so bad... But he still crawls out of bed just in time to catch Kanda before he does 5000 push ups at 4 am. Sorry about your rigorous scheduling, Kanda, because Lavi is dragging him to the new location -- the amusement park, to be exact.]
We're here to catch the sunrise! Now c'mon.
[DRAGS HIM TO THE FERRIS WHEEL!!!]
[IMAGINE
Lavi being up for this is more proof of love than any arrow tbh. I don't love anyone enough to get up at sunrise for them. Lavi you deserve better please go date the JJKs "are they better" well,
He SIGHS and yet he is still here... following along...]
It's not gonna look any different up there. [Kanda can you PLEASE develop a sense of JOY AND WONDER
He says that but then he's immediately betrayed by his thoughts again: Seems nice and quiet...]
Lavi being up for this is more proof of love than any arrow tbh. I don't love anyone enough to get up at sunrise for them. Lavi you deserve better please go date the JJKs "are they better" well,
He SIGHS and yet he is still here... following along...]
It's not gonna look any different up there. [Kanda can you PLEASE develop a sense of JOY AND WONDER
He says that but then he's immediately betrayed by his thoughts again: Seems nice and quiet...]
[Lavi grins as Kanda's thoughts betray him... but he was also smiling before so maybe he's not grinning because of that wow, such camouflage. It should be illegal to be this energetic at this hour, actually.]
No one's gonna find us here.
[and doesn't kanda LOVE being ALONE? Lavi's here, well he doesn't count..... He heads on into the passenger car and waits expectantly for Kanda to follow him inside like the world's fussiest cat,]
No one's gonna find us here.
[and doesn't kanda LOVE being ALONE? Lavi's here, well he doesn't count..... He heads on into the passenger car and waits expectantly for Kanda to follow him inside like the world's fussiest cat,]
[drags kanda out of the swamp where mathis will also have waited and presumably lavi and yuffie will help bandage kanda UP bc i have no idea how healed kanda's WOUNDS are, so im dating this to after.
the golem is flapping around Kanda because it's so in love with Kanda that it pierced the mg veil to find him, damn. Lavi is sitting somewhere close by, trying to wring the towel dry of all the fcking blood that's on it probably, while an animal crossing thunderstorm is hovering over his head.]
'Don't die yet', my ass.
[HE'S SO MAD]
the golem is flapping around Kanda because it's so in love with Kanda that it pierced the mg veil to find him, damn. Lavi is sitting somewhere close by, trying to wring the towel dry of all the fcking blood that's on it probably, while an animal crossing thunderstorm is hovering over his head.]
'Don't die yet', my ass.
[HE'S SO MAD]
[Well
He's not dead! Tch. When he drags himself back out of the swamp (DID LAVI BRING HIS CLOTHES don't ask me about the logic but he doesn't want to wear this dumb outfit forever), he's moving sluggishly, clearly still in some degree of pain--but he's moving and he's not bleeding out anymore. TCH!!!!!
He sits, wet and gross from the swamp, regaining his bearings. And then he... stares blankly at Lavi for a minute.
Who's that.]
He's not dead! Tch. When he drags himself back out of the swamp (DID LAVI BRING HIS CLOTHES don't ask me about the logic but he doesn't want to wear this dumb outfit forever), he's moving sluggishly, clearly still in some degree of pain--but he's moving and he's not bleeding out anymore. TCH!!!!!
He sits, wet and gross from the swamp, regaining his bearings. And then he... stares blankly at Lavi for a minute.
Who's that.]
[YOU JUST DATING THIS TO SWAMP AND I SEE WHY, well Lavi has the towel which he’ll bring on over and also Kansa’s clothes… imagine he lost his exorcist uniform while on this CYOA.
The audible thought brings him up short though,]
—- Yuu?
The audible thought brings him up short though,]
—- Yuu?
[SOMETIMES THINGS HAPPEN...
Automatically:]
Don't call me--
[He pauses, and frowns. ...? Why?
Hmm. Weird. He looks around.]
Where's that fussy doctor?
Automatically:]
Don't call me--
[He pauses, and frowns. ...? Why?
Hmm. Weird. He looks around.]
Where's that fussy doctor?
[well, as soon as Daan is bubbled and the trial ends, Lavi strikes out on his own, striding off. Yuffie will follow, he knows, but he needs this brief moment on his own -- and maybe she understands that, maybe he gets that small moment of space he desperately, furiously needs. He was walking before, but now he's running, running past Daan and wherever people are crowded around Karlach, following a path where he thinks no one will be, this small small town of barely twenty and smaller now. He doesn't want to see anyone when he's like this, he doesn't want to comfort anyone or hear anyone's reassurances -- it could have been anyone. they're still out there. a monster or someone as themselves. i can't do this. i can't be here.
So he keeps running endlessly, moving locations, staying briefly in each, making sure -- very sure -- that he avoids everyone, contact and company and both. he slams his hand on the door that leads him to the new locations, and then insanely, wildly goes down to the summer camp, straight into the woods and stands there, staring.
This is where Yuu died. No. I don't know where he died. I don't know anything. I didn't even go look for him. I... made someone else do it.
I left his body in someone else's hands. I let him be eaten. I let him die. I let him die like that -- without finding the answer. Without finding anything.
Even now, he wants to pull himself together. He wants to press himself back into the person named 'Bookman' and take advantage of the total void of feeling, the detachment. He wants to not feel anything, ever again.
Don't think about it. Don't think about it! Don't...
He opens his eye and stares at the grass and sees the body, the arms on either side, the torso and stomach open -- flesh exposed to the sky -- the tattoo ripped open, and pulled out. blood pooling from kanda's ankles, no cross-shaped scars. just blood, from a precise cut. to hobble him, like he was a fucking animal. like he was less than what he was, less than what he meant --
even though he means everything and more
and then his face, eyes closed, the hair sprawled on the grass. the scent from his face. drugged tea.
he hallucinated. he was seeing the worst things he could see and then he did. he didn't get any peace. he didn't even get a chance to fight back.
and then his arms... arms? Lavi stares.
I didn't look at his arms. I didn't see his arms. I didn't --]
I...
[he doesn't remember falling, but he's already on the grass, grabbing his head and gasping -- breathing too hard to scream properly even though all he wants to do is rage, and then the tears form and they fall down, down, down and lavi can't breathe at all. he cannot breath or scream or say anything but stare at nothing and think of kanda's body, masterfully put together by his precise memory, and relive the last nine hours -- forty eight hours. from the time he saw the bulletin board to now. asa's voice in his head "it was eating him" and kate's soft voice "the cut matched mugen". the prism of memory is on him and he cannot break it, and he wants so desperately to let it all be over but he can't because he can't forget.]
Yuu -- I...
[he can't forget so he lets go, he lets the dam of emotions build and break through, smothering him until he can't see reason or logic, just the pulse-pounding rage and grief that he is alive and yuu is dead and he failed him]
So he keeps running endlessly, moving locations, staying briefly in each, making sure -- very sure -- that he avoids everyone, contact and company and both. he slams his hand on the door that leads him to the new locations, and then insanely, wildly goes down to the summer camp, straight into the woods and stands there, staring.
This is where Yuu died. No. I don't know where he died. I don't know anything. I didn't even go look for him. I... made someone else do it.
I left his body in someone else's hands. I let him be eaten. I let him die. I let him die like that -- without finding the answer. Without finding anything.
Even now, he wants to pull himself together. He wants to press himself back into the person named 'Bookman' and take advantage of the total void of feeling, the detachment. He wants to not feel anything, ever again.
Don't think about it. Don't think about it! Don't...
He opens his eye and stares at the grass and sees the body, the arms on either side, the torso and stomach open -- flesh exposed to the sky -- the tattoo ripped open, and pulled out. blood pooling from kanda's ankles, no cross-shaped scars. just blood, from a precise cut. to hobble him, like he was a fucking animal. like he was less than what he was, less than what he meant --
even though he means everything and more
and then his face, eyes closed, the hair sprawled on the grass. the scent from his face. drugged tea.
he hallucinated. he was seeing the worst things he could see and then he did. he didn't get any peace. he didn't even get a chance to fight back.
and then his arms... arms? Lavi stares.
I didn't look at his arms. I didn't see his arms. I didn't --]
I...
[he doesn't remember falling, but he's already on the grass, grabbing his head and gasping -- breathing too hard to scream properly even though all he wants to do is rage, and then the tears form and they fall down, down, down and lavi can't breathe at all. he cannot breath or scream or say anything but stare at nothing and think of kanda's body, masterfully put together by his precise memory, and relive the last nine hours -- forty eight hours. from the time he saw the bulletin board to now. asa's voice in his head "it was eating him" and kate's soft voice "the cut matched mugen". the prism of memory is on him and he cannot break it, and he wants so desperately to let it all be over but he can't because he can't forget.]
Yuu -- I...
[he can't forget so he lets go, he lets the dam of emotions build and break through, smothering him until he can't see reason or logic, just the pulse-pounding rage and grief that he is alive and yuu is dead and he failed him]
[but even emotion has to be eventually spent. slowly, quietly, the sobs lessen, petering out into soft, quiet breaths. his mind empties of emotion and logic, focusing instead on the sensations. the grass scratching his cheek, the chill from the breeze brushing against his damp face.
Alive. I'm alive.
he waits for the veritable rush of grief and disappointment. and they do appear briefly, dully, before fading. because maybe he did want to be voted for -- some small part of him wanted the blame placed squarely on his shoulders, wanted out of these rituals and trials and the constant disappointment and hope thwarted. but most of all, wanted nothing more than to see Yuu again in a way that's solely, wholly him.
He can't forget how he saw him last.
But he can remember more than just the town. He can remember Kanda in all those three years of knowing him, remember every day and moment. the time spent in battle, the brief periods when they were not. kanda with the people who cared for him the most -- with lenalee, scolding him in a way no one else could ever manage to do. marie, sitting by him and offering a gentle hand. tiedoll, finishing the last brushstroke of a portrait, adoration in every line. komui, reever, johnny. chaoji, the newest member of kanda's life, but full of admiration. allen, a constant thorn in each other's sides. krory, miranda, timothy, swinging in orbit and then out, and then back again.
kanda standing a little apart from everyone else, but always, always included.
yuu and alma bursting into hiccups of laughter, smiles bright.
ah.
he thought he shed all his tears but they come upon him again, soft and quiet -- this time meant for Yuu in his entirety, and not for all the desperate mistakes Lavi committed for him. just kanda. just yuu. just him. defined not by the end thrust upon him or his tragic fate. but just how he lived, quietly and stubbornly and oh so wonderfully. the press of his shoulder against Lavi's, all of his promises, more and more details until they blot out the sky overhead. until the tears blur and drip again and lavi can breathe easy.]
...You better write.
[except there's no heat to his words. he doesn't mean them. he doesn't think kanda should have to do anything anymore. if there really is an other side, then... he wants him to be alright, more than anything.]
I'll write too.
[soon, once he picks himself up, once he remembers to be something other than his true self. but for now, he just lies on the ground and looks at the stars, watching the memories go by.]
Alive. I'm alive.
he waits for the veritable rush of grief and disappointment. and they do appear briefly, dully, before fading. because maybe he did want to be voted for -- some small part of him wanted the blame placed squarely on his shoulders, wanted out of these rituals and trials and the constant disappointment and hope thwarted. but most of all, wanted nothing more than to see Yuu again in a way that's solely, wholly him.
He can't forget how he saw him last.
But he can remember more than just the town. He can remember Kanda in all those three years of knowing him, remember every day and moment. the time spent in battle, the brief periods when they were not. kanda with the people who cared for him the most -- with lenalee, scolding him in a way no one else could ever manage to do. marie, sitting by him and offering a gentle hand. tiedoll, finishing the last brushstroke of a portrait, adoration in every line. komui, reever, johnny. chaoji, the newest member of kanda's life, but full of admiration. allen, a constant thorn in each other's sides. krory, miranda, timothy, swinging in orbit and then out, and then back again.
kanda standing a little apart from everyone else, but always, always included.
yuu and alma bursting into hiccups of laughter, smiles bright.
ah.
he thought he shed all his tears but they come upon him again, soft and quiet -- this time meant for Yuu in his entirety, and not for all the desperate mistakes Lavi committed for him. just kanda. just yuu. just him. defined not by the end thrust upon him or his tragic fate. but just how he lived, quietly and stubbornly and oh so wonderfully. the press of his shoulder against Lavi's, all of his promises, more and more details until they blot out the sky overhead. until the tears blur and drip again and lavi can breathe easy.]
...You better write.
[except there's no heat to his words. he doesn't mean them. he doesn't think kanda should have to do anything anymore. if there really is an other side, then... he wants him to be alright, more than anything.]
I'll write too.
[soon, once he picks himself up, once he remembers to be something other than his true self. but for now, he just lies on the ground and looks at the stars, watching the memories go by.]
[BEATS YOU UP would Lavi follow him when he leaves the party or are they finding each other later idk IT'S UP TO YOU. He is here for a while!! But he is ghostly and mostly intangible like everyone else. He's also still missing his ear, though his hair is down, so it's harder to see right now.
HEWWO FOOL]
HEWWO FOOL]
[DON'T JUST SAY HEWWO FOOL and yeah Lavi would have followed him... BINCH!!! STAY AND ENDURE OMEGAVERSE!!!!
he has so many emotions right now rattling around in both his head and his HEART that it takes a moment for him to say anything -- he just looks at Kanda, the ghostly apparition, and notes every difference he can see. the hair is hiding it, but he KNOWS that Kanda is still missing his ear thanks to everyone else who has written about Kanda!!!!
He can't tell if Kanda just put his hair down because it's annoying to wear it up while also wearing a cat kigu hood or if this is a new hairstyle change to accompany all the other changes to Kanda that Lavi doesn't know about --]
Did you get my gift? I sent it with my letter.
he has so many emotions right now rattling around in both his head and his HEART that it takes a moment for him to say anything -- he just looks at Kanda, the ghostly apparition, and notes every difference he can see. the hair is hiding it, but he KNOWS that Kanda is still missing his ear thanks to everyone else who has written about Kanda!!!!
He can't tell if Kanda just put his hair down because it's annoying to wear it up while also wearing a cat kigu hood or if this is a new hairstyle change to accompany all the other changes to Kanda that Lavi doesn't know about --]
Did you get my gift? I sent it with my letter.
[Yes... Kanda... famous for how often he changes things up...
ALSO STOP NOT OMEGAVERSE TCH but it's fine they don't have to go far. Once they're away from the crowd he doesn't actually care where they go.]
I--
[BLIPS OUT OF EXISTENCE
Flickers back after a bit]
So--
[...
Sighs]
Not even that, huh.
ALSO STOP NOT OMEGAVERSE TCH but it's fine they don't have to go far. Once they're away from the crowd he doesn't actually care where they go.]
I--
[BLIPS OUT OF EXISTENCE
Flickers back after a bit]
So--
[...
Sighs]
Not even that, huh.
[I DONT KNOW WHERE THEY SHOULD BE IG THEY COULD PICK A GY LOCATION? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY
in the meantime there's blood all over lavi's face because he got fcking arm slammed by the baby god but he's conscious!!! he'll head over to Kanda!!! TRIES TO HUG HIM!!!]
We did it!
[THEY DID SOMETHING]
in the meantime there's blood all over lavi's face because he got fcking arm slammed by the baby god but he's conscious!!! he'll head over to Kanda!!! TRIES TO HUG HIM!!!]
We did it!
[THEY DID SOMETHING]
[THEY CAN HEAD TO THE GY FOR A FUCKING BATH THAT'S WHERE THEY CAN GO
Anyway now that the adrenaline of the fight is wearing off and they are in PRIVATE!!! Lavi gets to experience the roiling conflict of his emotions--because it worked out, they're fine, and eventually he realized Lavi was probably going to stay behind, so he shouldn't still be mad, but he still kind of is. But he's also mostly just glad they're okay and together again. It's complicated.]
We always do, Stupid Rabbit. [SOMEHOW.]
Anyway now that the adrenaline of the fight is wearing off and they are in PRIVATE!!! Lavi gets to experience the roiling conflict of his emotions--because it worked out, they're fine, and eventually he realized Lavi was probably going to stay behind, so he shouldn't still be mad, but he still kind of is. But he's also mostly just glad they're okay and together again. It's complicated.]
We always do, Stupid Rabbit. [SOMEHOW.]
[THE GY HAS BATHS... DAMN.... BUT THEY CAN GO THERE YEAH!!! Lavi will take this moment to hold onto Kanda for as long as Kanda lets him -- his own emotions filled with pure relief and exhaustion.]
I was worried for a second there!
[specifically the part where it felt like he was being sacrificed to bring forth a horny god, damn... AND HE WAS? BUT SOMEHOW HE DIDN'T DIE? he guesses that's because of the dead too,]
I was worried for a second there!
[specifically the part where it felt like he was being sacrificed to bring forth a horny god, damn... AND HE WAS? BUT SOMEHOW HE DIDN'T DIE? he guesses that's because of the dead too,]
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